letters to you

i miss you
i wanted to tell you
im angry
from loosingyou
not at u
at me
i shoulda called
i was afraid
im scared
what do i do
its been 5 months
5monhths
since i heard urvoice
i miss you
i need you
you get me
u understood
now im here
fighting to feel ok
in this nothingness
i cant fell anymore
i cant go on
i want u back
i want to tell you
that its ok
iwant you to no that i love u
that
this isnt the end
i wantyou to no
how hard its been
i wanted to tell you
how strong youve made me
i want to say sorry for everything i did to u
i want to say merry christmas again
i want to plantflowers
andwater the garden
i want you to yell at me again
im so sorry
im so sorry
im so sorry
id kill for u back
i promise
im sorry
i love you

beautiful disasterpieces

frustration
fills my mind
anger is not the word
do u even understand
half of whats inmy head
no one does
no on enters my world
i letuthink
uno me
expose me i fear nothing
u have to say
shocked broken im dynig inside
i cant even get over the last now u want me to
deal again
i cant
i refuse
i need control
i cant get control
im spinning
and screaming
and no one sees me
hidden behind this smile
i resort to musical therapy
that helps as much as anything
i cant evenfight it
i want togo back
back to what
used to work
id kill for this
to quit
i want out
more than anything
iwanna be happy
not in the selfish
way i want to give i want tof eel good about
my choices
as of now
im not
i want control
with control comes
happiness
my plan torecieve control
regain consciousness
i miss u
u no
i miss u so much