Sunday, July 29, 2007

letters to you

i miss you
i wanted to tell you
im angry
from loosingyou
not at u
at me
i shoulda called
i was afraid
im scared
what do i do
its been 5 months
5monhths
since i heard urvoice
i miss you
i need you
you get me
u understood
now im here
fighting to feel ok
in this nothingness
i cant fell anymore
i cant go on
i want u back
i want to tell you
that its ok
iwant you to no that i love u
that
this isnt the end
i wantyou to no
how hard its been
i wanted to tell you
how strong youve made me
i want to say sorry for everything i did to u
i want to say merry christmas again
i want to plantflowers
andwater the garden
i want you to yell at me again
im so sorry
im so sorry
im so sorry
id kill for u back
i promise
im sorry
i love you

beautiful disasterpieces

frustration
fills my mind
anger is not the word
do u even understand
half of whats inmy head
no one does
no on enters my world
i letuthink
uno me
expose me i fear nothing
u have to say
shocked broken im dynig inside
i cant even get over the last now u want me to
deal again
i cant
i refuse
i need control
i cant get control
im spinning
and screaming
and no one sees me
hidden behind this smile
i resort to musical therapy
that helps as much as anything
i cant evenfight it
i want togo back
back to what
used to work
id kill for this
to quit
i want out
more than anything
iwanna be happy
not in the selfish
way i want to give i want tof eel good about
my choices
as of now
im not
i want control
with control comes
happiness
my plan torecieve control
regain consciousness
i miss u
u no
i miss u so much

Saturday, July 28, 2007

I confess ive messed up

I feel
the weight of the world on my shoulders
cant move
closing in
the walls crumble
shes there
always
i cant breath
she laughs
inner demons threating to emerge
i lie
still she screams
in joy
mylife falling apart shes amused
need to de stress
de complicate
reducce
all things i hold mine
this is the end of
her
its all about to change
im ready for new
im sick of all this
all the me that does not exsist
feeling like i need to escape
be free
determined to discover
reality
....

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

im a prisoner of my ways

voices attack
and life is crumbling
depression strikes its weary head
and im waiting
for the crisp wind to sweap the nation
apple cider is around the corner
home is not here
currently im here
wishing to be there
i hold the things
shes needs
the only reason
friends remain
unchanged
a wordy mouth
of one
has disrupted what had begun
im sure its notas badas you think
talk is talk
ur lifeischeap
thrilled at least
im not like this
nothing fancy
i love giving
thats me
i give as much as possible
far better then
some im sure
i vow
to not regret
tell my secrets
theres nothing it will do to me
SEX
oh god
im over it
like you
we all need to move on
this is a new day
im readyto save theworld
no need to extend
this
who did what they did
we all no
some say
it but others dont
confusion
is only vain
u read into things
to far
u end up lost
if uget it
then good if not
better
tricky wording
=
truth to blind