caught up in circles

she stands there half impaired
half intoxicated
every bitter feeling she intended to
"shake off" haunts her
each breath in is a reminder
of her failures
one more stab from unexpected sources
one bitter smile from the woman claiming parenthood
one cold stare from a distant relative
one more disappointed sigh from "best friends"
no air remains for her breath to take
no deep breaths the waters filling fast
shes slipping
no handle on whats left of her
once imperfect but
souly better then now life
she smiles
as they pile on more and more
guilt for not caring
or caring to much
responsibility
pressure
everyone caves
its family tradition
so its expected
carring the wait of the world
is never easy
but shed take that over
disappointing
everyone anymore
grades cant be good enough
money doesnt come easy enough
or in mass supply
she cant take it
only outlets are slowly stolen
and secret coves invaded
so now weres there to go
hidden behind deep
walls of internet security
she pores every secret she holds
in hope that noone or anyone will find them