Life

sometimes its so confusing
you leave everything in one place behind you
only to gain so much more
and you soon figure out that
its not what you needed
and your lost
once again
with millions of questions
all left unanswered
and all you've ever wanted was to know who you are
without losing who you were
no matter what you do
you can't make it right
and you thought for one whole second that everything was exactly the way it should be
and soon you realize that nothing is the way it should be
your searching high and low to find that person you know you can be
it's like somethings missing and you see it in everyone else
you see how perfect it can be
even with the troubles they have
you see it for a split second in a smile
in a laugh
what your missing
that ounce of perfection that everyone else has
it's like
the whole world knows something that you don't
that you can never know
you constantly surround your self with people
so you feel needed,wanted
and then when your alone
you realize
exactly how miserable you've come to be
so much so that
you find yourself contemplating
an escape
for that one second you find yourself completely at peace
you see your future and you know
this is the way it needs to be

new again

Sometimes we forget exactly why it is we are here...
And sometimes...
just sometimes...
We know exactly why...
-----------------------
We're here for the smell after rain
the way each drop feels on your skin
sunsets on a swing
the sound of waves crashing agains earth
the days when heavens open for all
the perfect moments in life that make us realize why we're here
the ups
we live for up days
happieness
the quest of happiness
and sometimes it feels like a million miles away
but if you make it past the bad days
-------------bliss-------------

missing you

I miss you most when...
the sun shines
the rain pours
the trees change
the grass is green
the snow falls
the flowers bloom

I miss you most on days...
my life seems perfect
my life is crumbling
I fight with my mom
I see my new neices and nephews
I cant find the right words to say
when I watch home videos
When I go to the park

I miss you most...
If I see your pictures
If I hear your name
when the subject get changed if I'm around
when I'm stuck between the right and wrong choice
when I mess up
When I perfect something
when I hear your song

I miss you most...
when I feel like im forgetting you
everytime I remember your never coming back
when I realize I cant call you to talk about nothing or everything

mainly I miss you most
when I wake up in the morning...
and go to bed at night...
and all the time in between..

everydays the first of the rest of your life

Maybe things are better left unsaid
because in all this
all I know
is Ive never loved anyone
as much as I miss you
and i dont no that I ever will
i want to hurt as bad as that day
because then I'll know that its true
love exist after all
please dont mistake this
its not a cry for help
only a cry for peace

...

You said goodbye like it meant nothing
like we meant nothing
I know we'd never be
but what we had
was more
im okay you left
you had to go
but saying goodbye
shoulda been more
so adventure on dear friend
but remember to remember me

My wasted heart.........

night after night
I wait for
someone to rescue me
like sleeping beauty
in the tower
only im trapped in my own
misery
self inflicted
self controlled
maybe it will go away
but maybe im insane
you see
when you left
it fucked my world
and now i wait
for the complete circle
of events
im sick of aiting
but I need to hope

OKAY

honestly
I hate your honesty
best friends means...
well best friends means nothing in this case
you told me we'd have it all
and here I am
500 miles from home
and your leaving for
...
do you even know
I told myself i didnt care
and yet here I am
wasting my time
wrting about you
once again
your running away
just like before
and when you come back
I hope you know
i wont be here
Im done waiting
so take that lie and
shove it

forever yours

I hope it breaks your heart
when you see us together
happy as you'll never be
I hope it tears you down
with each kiss we share
Every walk I take with him in hand
I hope you feel the love he has for me
I hopeyou cry when you see our pictures
on myspace
When we start our family
I hope your miserable
I hope it breaks your heart
when you think of me
...
Because mine breaks everyday
I wake up and hes not you

one lost soul

Sinking down she steps away
to look at this mess shes made
its only been a month
and still shes managed to for go
all reality and destroy
her plans
how can this be
after three days it was going down
and now she remembers why it is hse left in the first place
you see it was to run
and never face
the mistake she made
one two three
hours she had
and never did
ring ring ring
its just me and i wish
youd been there
to see how stupid ive gotten
ha
youd roll
360 and then 180
just to escape this face
no shame
only facades
.........
no endings
only
death

could it be this misery will suffice

all I've said I would never be
I have become
alcohol
solving my poblems
with each gulp
I cure
cancer
broken hearts
and mendable souls
i wish i never
took these moments
i wish you would go away
save me from who i am bound to be
i want everything you are not
and so it seems ill never be
but i want to be okay
again
to breath at ease
for once

pressure

here we go again
this road was paved
and we took the bumps
for the fun
but in the end
we're all the same
miserable with memories
of joyful or sorrowful times
i refuse to be
like you
iresstibley miserable
at 18
i hate that you hate me
but more that
I hate me

someone come and save my life

nothing more than okay is what she asked
and she recieved
perfection
but in oblivion
perfection is nothing
cmpared to misery
we always want what is not ours
never excepting the good she has
she wore out the love he had for her and forever
she was alone