and so the lines been blurred

his breath so hot on my skin
the way he looked right through me
his hand sliding slowly down my jaw
to rest were my shoulder meets my neck
then slowly into my hair
the way he lightly brushed my lips with his
then down my chin and across my jaw
how beautiful
it made me feel
how soft his eyes felt each time they met mine
a dark brown full of secrets
just waiting to escape
a light tug and no space remained
here in his arms
the rest of the world disappears
me and him
all troubles gone for these moments
everything is perfect
we stayed in this tightly bound hug for
eternity or so it seemed
his breath warming my ear
as he whispered
just the right words
to finally break me
and the rest is history
forever he had me
from that moment I'd lost whatever was left of self control
and he had me
full hearted
terrified
thrilling
tragic

dont do it

I hate that you think you have me all figured out
like you no me better then I do
Because my hair is dark and my shoes are bright
because I go to shows and listen to punk
I cant go deeper then this label
this stereotype
just another young rebel
who doesnt no shit about anything real
that i couldnt possibly say anything deeper then
a song lyric
and I have no clue of true music
I hate that you judge me
that you hate me
that you dont think
im worth the time
but I hate most
is that I care
what you think

forever in a day

scribbled in ink
his heart poors out
for anyone to find
the last milligram of hope
we'd love to see him smile just one more time
and mean it
slowly let go
his note read:
"today has been the best day
in a long time
and it made me realize how miserable I am
please dont cry kelly
we will meet again
{"forever in a day"}"

Just for Today

The skys will be clear
the sun will shine within
my heart will be high
I will shed no tears
my mind will not be trapped
my body will be its own perfection
the stars will sing to me
rooftops will bring salvation
friends will render joy
he will be mine
depression will be gone
soul set free
my eyes will not weap

yea today
i will be happy

just for today

tommorow is unclear but i know
today will be okay

I cant see the sun anymore

laughter fills the room
silent tears streaming
the thought of living one more day
without you is killing me
I did it all
from drink you away to pop the pain
I cant stop this broken heart
its one no one can touch on
every night gets worse
I've shed more tears a year later
then I did at the time
why isnt it all better
why do some days seem so perfect and then nights are doomed
I need you to tell me things will get better
but we all know thats not true
I wish it were
I need you
isnt it funny when someone dies you need them more then you ever did before
the things I've been through since youve been gone
I cant imagine whats in store
I'd give anything to have you back here
just one more day

leaveit be

I wish i woulda called
if I could do one thing over
i would have
I want to know how it felt
I want to know what it was like
I wish you were here
Ive never mised you more
theres lots I would change if
time reversal was possible
I need you
i hope you know
I want to know what itslike to be happy
im happy more then I was before but
being here breaks my heart
i need you
i wish you could tell me things would be okay
sleep tight
or i love you
but its to late and your to gone
i want to see you again
hear you
i feel you all around me
i miss you

deadend

its getting colder now
on lifes little trip
im trying to see the good in it but i cant
my phones ringing and i cant hear a thing
your minds blank my minds raging
escape the future dear
you need to get out
stop all this maddness you need to wake up
scream
from the rooftops
your going to be okay
this i promise

lifes hard lovely but you will be
just fine
get thee orange cupcakes a sing it
beauty is around us stop
and stare
this is all we need

just believe

deadend

its getting colder now
on lifes little trip
im trying to see the good in it but i cant
my ohones ringing and i cant hear a thing
your minds blank my minds raging
escape the future dear
you need to get out
stop all this maddness you need to wake up
scream
from the rooftops
your going to be okay
this i promise

lifes hard lovely but you will be
just fine
get thee orange cupcakes a sing it
beauty is around us stop
and stare
this is all we need

just believe

and all that surrounds us tells me your different

like the sun you keep coming back day after day
you seem to control every thought that runs through my mind
with a nod of the head and blink of an eye
you catch me
held captive in your love for a lifetime
breaking out is so hard
comfortability keeps me grounded wiht you
I want to tell you
but I cant
you break my heart every time you look right through me
shes far more beautiful than I ever had a chance at being
so forgive me for hating her but its really you i cant stand
tear soaked teddy bears and kleenex wasted
im done crying for you
im ready to be free
just stay
far far
away from me

Growing up and growing out
I cant control lifes twists and turns
I cant control what people think about me
I cant even control what I think about me
false judgement
and cold shoulders
Im a step away from falling to my death
and a hand reach away from making it
when things start to look up
you break me back down
things sure have changed
Im making peace with torn heart strings
sad that you are who you are
id love to love you

confusion is filling me fast
with no one to turn to
the waters getting thick
and treadings not so easy
dragging my soul beating and muddy
here lies the future
and Im terrified to make the wrong or right choice
It sucks because
your not here to catch me when i fall
grace is my weak point
and the bruises proove
that clumsy's not the word for it
sadly your smiles fading from my memorie
and I can't even remember eyes
pictures dont have voice
and they never talk back
so much has happened
I couldnt face you now
but Id give anything to have just one day
I swear Im not as bad as the decisions I make
Fun times right...
my hearts not in this one
you took most of it when you left
and Im still broken
attempting to fix all of this
my heads barely above it all
and my minds long gone
left a note that said call me
when you figure this out
please tell me there is more then this
so many people pulling me every which way
your laugh is gone and the smell of your perfume faded
I cant help but tear up inside
everytime my phone rings I know it could never be the person I want it to be
Please dont hate me
i cant bear this life much longer
all my happy times
fill with guilt
id give my life to have you back here
this world sucks still
over a year
and hurts worse somedays
they say smile
with time all wounds heal
im waiting
.........

Dont be afraid to tell it like it is

smile
thats all i got today
because the things you said
are killing me
I cant share them
but Ill keep them with me
forever
because their so damn funny
its ok
when the book comes out
your name will be out of it
sadly the one person who would
enjoy this most cant even know
and that frankly sucks to me
the things you said
:) LMAO
your so funny

bring me home

breath deep
take it all in
lifes to short
so Im drinkin again
the beauty in this place
covered with hate
your eyes told lies
that I appreciate
secret life
this to that
so many reasons to just run away
the laughs Ive shared over you
and now look at me
a hypocrit in my own mind
and that goes with out saying
jacks my best friend tonight
and we're getting wild
tommorow jim and jose are coming around
and I'd love for you to meet them with me
tangled in the sheets
this is the life
not perfect
yet
just right
from vodka & orange juice to rum & coke
the fun just began
so inhale mary jane and passs her on
we're living baby
so why do i feel like this?

ciggarettes and wine couldnt begin to fill this void

hopeless dream
I cant escape
your the only thing on my mind
all the time
its damaging
its been months
but i cant stop thinking about you
laughter fills my mind
how could i be so insinsitive
for a girl im pretty clueless
I wish you never left
or...
but its to late
maybe in time things will get better
until then
i miss you
forever
...

dream lived out

Slip fast away
make it out clean
go for dreams and live for hope
escape nostolgia
and come to
this is it
today we live
just for today
make it worth while
do what you love
love what you do
run fast from the memeories
and shy away from plans
do what you can to love who you are
Its hard in this day and age
to be happy
find what you love and never stop doing that
dont let life beat you down
and dont let failure keep you from
getting back up
we need to escape reality
and live big
we've got one chance
lets not fuck it up

Papercut my broken lies

Finger prints mask my fears
and you paper cuts
leave me broken
those eyes could lie their way out of anything
and blue smiles last forever in memories
through all the tears I can honestly say
Id never give you up
feed my bullshit
make me smile
make me cry
no matter what I'll come back
stupid on my part
but those dimples tell a story
of tragedy and romance
your mind is screaming for redemption
and my body would give salvation
to it any time
you cursed me when I saw you
so forever i am yours

love out loud

It beautiful
the way crimson ran from her arm
that night

with a crooked smile
and a twist in her eyes
she laughed
as the tears smeered from cheek to cheek

the shower ran
and steam poured from the room
her sobbing drown out

the razor becoming her best friend
50 cuts deep

her body tingles
and she feels him

the razor crashing to the tub
she feels him holding her
letting her know shes not alone

sending her the message of hope

her body falling to the floor

the next few weeks are rough
but she knows that
she has support
hes always with her
holding her through
the rough patches

shes loved

Write out loud

right before she hit
she saw him
smiling
waiting to take her in
to show that love exists outside of fairy tales

he grasped her hand
and lead her in to his heart

infinite happiness was almost reachable

she glanced back
at her past
a world know one should be in
pain
fear
hate
lost

she never fell more gracefully
then the day he caught her

Love is the movement
we are the cause

boring

Every glance at the mirror reminds her that shes flawed
She wishes it was as easy as people make it sound
wishing for hip bones
so beautiful
praying to be looked at by him
the same way he looks at her
wishing she had a him that wanted her
for her
soon
she locks her self up for days
praying to look ok
she hates how she looks and for that
she eats nothing
work out she screams
skinny is happiness
happiness is what I need

blah i suck

Alone she sat that night
wishing for survival
knowing that it never was in reach
she prays for strength
not forgiveness
shes fine with where shes going
she understands
no ones perfect
she never claimed to be
it was you who put those words to use
she slapped down the note
attached was her heart
stretching out to anyone in sight
she sighs
alone
she waits for the sinister smile
to disappear
she hates this life why not evacuate
she cant go fake so she might as well just go
excuse her shes slightly insane
never mind the words u hhear
shes alone again
like always
left with her thoughts
her dangerous thoughts
leave her be though
shes mad
at the world
for not working out
so escape this life with her
and make her see shes not alone

Lost at sea

Spinning loudly out of control
she grasps her head and screams
her hair falling to the floor rapidly
her body aching for kindness
the shiny salvation seeps in
she cant breath as the thoughts race through
her mind eluded to an unknown place
she digs deep to find something
anything
to ease these thoughts
to quit the masses around her
the bottle falls from the cabinet like
it came from god himself
she downs the whole thing in 3 minutes and
off to bed she goes
......