Tuesday, April 17, 2007

When im home alone I just cant help myself...signing off again ...Im alright

You left me abandoned

cold

bitter

alone

the beauty of it all
i knew it was coming
and i couldnt stop it

your endless battle for life
my endless battle of denial

i missed it
that call
the last words
forever lost

ignorance
or maybe
fear

im not sure

these days are cloudy
one more class missed
one grade i cant fix
a paper to write
journals due soon

no inspiration
lack of sleep
and food

I cant grasp
the pole full of grease
its slipping
along with me

one last shot

I cant fight the urges
the razors call my name
the sweet escape of
each pill
as it goes down
relief
or just further down

my fix

i try to keep the feelings away

if only for today
id like to be happy

my only happiness
is found withen
the deep lyrics of bands ill never
see

a love for the
musical
in life

My life
one manic episode after another

down then up

this rollercoasters making me sick
but the carney wont let me off

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